Daily Prompt: Ballerina Fireman Astronaut Movie Star

Daily Prompt: Ballerina Fireman Astronaut Movie Star#
“When you were 10, what did you want to be when you grew up? What are you? Are the two connected?”

query

When I was ten I don’t think I had a picture of what I wanted to be. When asked others would say ‘Train driver’ etc. but I would say ‘Don’t know’. I may have secretly wanted to be a robot or a cyborg.

I think this is something that has affected my whole life. I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. I still don’t and I’m 40 now. If I had known I was going to be a doctor or a lorry driver I could have aimed for that goal. Instead it’s been more of a drift. I’m not sure how a person goes about getting that kind of direction at an early age as well as knowing that you can achieve it.

Later in life after failing to get A-Levels and then working for my dad for a few years I decided I could do a degree in Engineering and be an Engineer like my granddad. Not a landscaper like my dad as I didn’t love doing that. I flunked that degree maybe due to a lack of drive or what I don’t know. I just got heavily depressed and could not do the work. Having started very motivated, after the first two years I found myself unable to make myself go to lectures or do the coursework. I still don’t know the cause. Maybe a lack of a specific goal or career path.

Quite a few years further on I have got myself a job that is engineering related, although the actual work is more sales and office administration. It’s good. Mostly. I can pay the bills. I sometimes use a tiny amount of what I learned at University.

Sometimes I hanker after more. A more fulfilling and better paid line of work. Do I know what career? Nope.

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